The 6 Emotional Stages You Wish You Knew About Before Moving Away

So, here you are. You made the big decision. You’re going to do it. Pack up your life into suitcases that don’t seem nearly big enough and move to a new city.

Exciting? Definitely.

Terrifying? Also yes, but you won’t admit that.

Moving away means new beginnings! You’re going to take the place by storm.

However, now that you
have committed to making this big jump, have you thought about what happens next?
What will be the timeline of your move?

Luckily for you, we summarized what the first few months of moving feel like and some challenges you could expect to face. Hopefully, this helps you be prepared for the incredible life journey you’re about to embark on.

Month One: Feeling All Around Confused

There is no way to go around it. The first month after moving is insanity. There is so much going on at the same time, you’re learning your way around, trying to find a job or an apartment... The list is just endless!

It feels like life is going at 100 miles per hour and you are incapable of catching up. You have no idea where any of your things are, where you should go, or who to even talk to.

The first month is dedicated to figuring out the city, your place in it, and every detail related to getting set up. It won’t be easy in any way whatsoever but you can be assured that it’ll be memorable. You’ll be running on sensory overload over 70% of the time.

Month Two: Starting to Slowly Adjust

So you’re settled in. Sort of. You have an apartment, you kind of know your way around. You feel less like a lost tourist and more like a wannabe local that occasionally confuses streets and goes down the wrong direction in the subway. Even starting to account for the correct travel time when planning to go places. The city map seems generally familiar to you. Hell, you even know neighborhoods!

You have identified some preferred paths to walk on your commute home, a couple of local bars you are interested in checking out. It’s not quite home yet, but you’re not quite a foreigner either. Everything is as familiar as it is unknown. You know to where start exploring.

Month Three: Building a Routine

You have settled in. You know your commute, your neighborhood. The main city sights and modes of transportation. You feel semi-local basically. Perfect time to start building out your routine! Work, gym, activities... Wait.

Activities.

With who?

Where?

When?

The professional part of the equation seems to have fallen into place but now comes the hardest part of them all: the social aspect. You were so busy trying to figure out your new setup over the past couple of months, you never got around to building a proper social circle.

So now that you have time, where do you even start?

Month Four: Accepting Difficult Realities

You’re definitely a local now. You get all the local jokes, you have your go-to bars and restaurants. Even have your favorite take-out places arranged.

It is a fact of life that when the local coffee shop people know you by name, you belong there.

The social aspect still seems to be eluding you though. You’ve gone on a few dates, swung by a couple of meetups. Yes, you even met a few people! Hung out with them occasionally.

But something feels off.

There’s no spark.

After the few hangouts, your interactions started to wane. There was no logical continuation. You know people around you but yet, you are not close nor regularly hanging out with any of them...

Is this what life will be going forward?

Transient interactions with no actual depth?

Oh the horror of never fitting in again.

Month Five: Reevaluating Life

Yet another major holiday passes by and you have nothing to post.

Sad.

Your friends from home are all getting together for that ONE party at that ONE person’s place, doing that ONE thing you all loved doing. You see their posts, Insta stories, and messages.

“Wish you were here, we miss you!” they claim.

“Hope you’re having the time of your life!” they mention after.

You don’t have the heart to tell them that’s not the case. Well you do have ONE decent friend at this point but it’s not the same.

So you just respond with an enthusiastic “Yeah, I’m doing great!” message as you’re sitting on your bed and watching Netflix.

You ARE doing great right? This is fine, right?

You don’t need more friends, you are comfortable with the few people you’ve met already. Friendship doesn’t matter THAT much.

Month Sixth: Finally Settling In

Aaaaand it’s all starting to come together.

Finally.

One day you had no idea what even was going on with your life. The next day, you look around and there it is. Laid out in front of you.

Your new life.

Those connections you’ve made, the conversations you’ve had, the people you randomly hung out with, it all started paying off. You have a few close friends now. You go places and do things. It’s definitely not your life from before, but it is a life. A good one at that.

You see room for growth and get excited. Just a little bit more effort, time and planning, and you will have that social network you were used to having before. It all just takes time and tackling each step one problem at a time.

You have hope again. A cause.

You now understand, that this month is nothing. It is only the beginning – the first months of your completely new life.

Overall, moving away is difficult. It is emotionally taxing and confusing and stressful.  Nothing ever goes the way you envision it and random curve-balls get flung at you from every direction. But that’s also what makes it so unique and exciting.

You grow. You learn.

Most importantly, you don’t just learn about the new place you move to, you learn who you are as a person. Particularly, how adaptable you are to whichever challenge being thrown your way.

As long as you know your upcoming emotional timeline, identify potential roadblocks, and have confidence in yourself, you’ll do great! The first step is actually committing to the move.

The rest? A matter of time and determination.

Best of luck on your future moves and travels!